Not a matter of life and death…

It was Liverpool’s legendary manager Bill Shankly who brought the phrase “It’s not a matter of life and death, it’s much more important than that” to soccer (although he stole the line from an American college football coach).  And this week we’ve seen the world of Premier League more than live up to this mantra, in all the wrong ways.

As The Times (of London) columnist Matthew Syed brilliantly identified this week, the magistrate setting John Terry’s racism court case date seemed to ascribe to the belief that soccer trumps all. The magistrate in question moved back Terry’s court case to after the Euro tournament in part due to pressure from Chelsea which suggested that the court case would mess with their players’ schedules, disadvantaging the club. The game trumps the law of the land by all accounts.

Today things only got worse when Suarez refused to shake Patrice Evra’s hand. I’m neither Man Utd, nor Liverpool fan, but as a lover of the game I hold both fine and successful clubs in high regard. I won’t hesitate to agree with Sir Alex Ferguson that Luis Suarez is a disgrace to Liverpool Football Club and its virtually unmatched history.  Yes, he’s a fabulous player but clearly  not a particularly honorable or mature individual.  The defence of his racism charge was pathetic but the petulance he showed today was utterly disgusting.  Still Liverpool and many of the fans stick behind him, much to the discredit of the club - a clear demonstration that their tribal football loyalty trumps their own moral compass and sense of fair play.

Football is not more important than life and death, but a hugely important aspect in the foundations of the game was that it was enstilled with the basic principles of civilized society.  It was to be a gentllemanly pursuit.  How can it be while we harbor people who will gladly belittle opponents due to the color of their skin? Ian Darke, ESPN’s commentator today, offered the opinion that the pre-match handshakes are meaninglesss and should be abolished.  Why? Because we have had one cancelled because of a racial abuse scandal (QPR vs Chelsea) and one that went awry because a player banned for racial abuse refused to shake the hand of the victim of that abuse. But it is not a trivial thing, it is designed to reinject the sense of honor and gentlemanly conduct into the game.  The handshakes should stay, it’s Suarez and Terry who should go.

On a less serious, but related note, Darke also said when one Liverpool player aggressively rifled the ball at an opponent to return it to him for a throw in. ”Well, he’s entitled to throw it back how he wants” said Darke.  No he’s not, it’s clearly ungentlemanly conduct.  He should be booked… there’s a reason you can be booked for ungentlemanly conduct – we want the game to remain civvilized.  You can also be booked for dissent, as Torres should have been at half time in the game at Goodison.  Referees need to feel empowered (as they technically are) to sanction anyone who acts like a petulant child or a beligerant drunk.

For God’s sake, can we stop saying soccer is a form of escapism where people can step beyond the bounds of acceptable behavior? That’s not how it started out.  Gentlemanly conduct was at the heart of the game when Lord Kinnaird and his chums started kicking about.  Marina Hyde (The Guardian) brilliantly satirized the notion of escapism by asking if the flat-cap wearing thousands attending games before WW2 were singing songs about such and such player or manager being a paedophile.

Everyone who plays has said and done things on a pitch they regret, but let’s not brush it under the carpet or blindly support our team’s players and deny it when they have clearly acted reprehensibly.  Let’s not make football more important than life, let’s instead apply the social

On a positive note though, while one club on Merseyside not only disgraced themselves (and played dreadfully – I’ve never seen such little pressure on the ball was when United were in possession today… and Glen Johnson had a horror show for both goals), the other club was an advert for football.  Everton were magnificent against Chelsea today from front to back.

England – “The envy of less happier lands” but that doesn’t mean football has won the battle against racism

As a Premier League neutral, I was honest enough to say that I had a soft spot for Liverpool at the start of the season.  Being a child of the 80s, the shadow of Liverpool’s omnipotence loomed large.  Now living in Boston, there is also an affinity for the Reds here thanks to the John Henry/Red Sox connection.  I’m looking forward to seeing them here at Fenway this summer for sure.

But it’s hard not to be bitterly disappointed by the way the club have handled the recent (and ongoing) racism row involving Luis Suarez.  It’s been a dark period for English football over the last two or thee months. After years of many of us English fans being smug about how we have addressed racism in football, condescendingly shaking our heads at the behaviour of some fans in Italy and Spain, our naivety has been exposed.

I’m not suggesting that Liverpool should have hung the Uruguyan out to dry, but they should have ackowledged more clearly that racism on the field is not acceptable.  Backing up Suarez’s ludicrous explanation that his words were not derogatory was an insult to everybody who doesn’t want to see racism anywhere in football.  It’s not credible that during a heated on field exchange  that the words used were done so affectionately.  And even if that is the case, Suarez clearly needs to moderate his language to the conventions acceptable on an English football pitch and in British society, or accept the consequences. The club’s decision to let the players wear t-shirts in support of Suarez was a further terrible, pig-headed move, which simply illustrated that they did not think Suarez had done anything wrong and he was the victim in this whole sordid affair.

Things may have died down a little but Liverpool mush have been aware that Saturday’s fixture might revive the issue. So why not brief the manager to tread a fine line on questions regarding Patrice Evra, instead of reacting with misplaced righteous indignation to journalists’ questions. It was inevitable that Evra would get booed on Saturday, but for Dalglish to suggest that it was just banter and to equate it to himself getting booed seems to illustrate how out of touch some of the footballing world are.

This whole fiasco might be a symptom of the club’s PR being run by people who are supporters first and professionals second, but backing up the pathetic excuses of the player in this case was absurd.  If they had issued a statement saying simply that they denounce racism and that they were co-operating with the FA in its enquiry, much of the furore might have died down.  But they kept the story and the debate alive.  People make mistakes in the heat of the moment and say things they shouldn’t.  It doesn’t mean they should be lynched and never forgiven, but the important thing is to own up to it and confirm that it is not acceptable. Liverpool did not do this clearly enough and many have lost some respect for the club.

The whole issue was of course complicated by the John Terry and Anton Ferdinand issue, and it was again disappointing to see QPR’s owners encouraging Ferdinand to shake Terry’s hand, apparently echoing Sepp Blatter’s ridiculous advice.  Everybody seems to want to “put the whole thing behind them”, which seems pretty similar to brushing it under the carpet to me. Terry’s excuses seemed to be even more ridiculous than Suarez’s and we’ll see how that plays out in court this week.  I understand why the clubs decided to do away with the customary handshakes at the weekend (the site of all eleven QPR players snubbing Terry could certainly have stoked the tensions among fans) but this again does feel a little bit like ducking the issues at stake here.

Whatever the decision in Terry’s magistrates court case on Wednesday it will cause another stir.  Hopefully it will be the catalyst for the game in England to consider what else can be done to kick racism out of football, and not to rest on its laurels, apparently happy that there is less racism than in other European stadia. We should surely be aiming for none.

Everton need Donovan “to try for the sun”

Everton take on Bolton today at 3 pm ET.  Mid-week games are a pain here when you are driving a desk, so I’ll be checking in with the BBC’s text commentary occasionally for the score in this and the Man Utd game.  When United are playing, why would I blog about Everton, the perenial mid-table, competent outfit.

Because their left back, Leighton Baines, is their joint top scorer at present! Three goals in half a season is a respectable tally for a full back, but it is pitiful that none of Everton’s striking options have surpassed this number. Louis Saha has been shouldering the burden… though not particularly well. He has one league goal and one in the cup. Understudy Apostolos Vellios has fared better with three goals in 11 league matches. Everton have scored just 19 goals this season in the BPL! This puts them on a par with West Brom and QPR, and only slightly ahead of Wigan. Yet, thanks to the tight ship Moyes is running in other areas of the field, they are comfortably mid-table. Win their two games in hand and they’ll go 8th and be back in the hunt for a European berth.

Goals are a massive problem for the Toffees.  It can’t all be blamed on the stirkers of course, they’ve lost significant creativity in the middle of the park. Losing Mikel Arteta as a chief architect of attacking play has not helped, and Tim Cahill, who brings boundless energy to the midfield and a fox in the box himself,  has had some injury problems that he seems to be playing through.

Enter Landon Donovan, fresh from his title clinching goal in last year’s MLS Cup Final. Last time out for Everton he weighed in with just two goals in 13 appearances but they got bags more from him in link-up play and general work ethic.  He’s an all-round forward per se as opposed to an out and out goal scorer – a grafter, but also a playmaker, and the U.S. all-time leader in assists. But this time around, with no striker amassing a meaningful count, David Moyes will be hoping Donovan can not just oil the cogs for Saha and co, but improve his own goal tally from his last stint as well.

It will be interesting to see if he can start with a bang against Bolton today.

The Best Time and Place… to be a Soccer Fan?

With the International break in the Premier League and the MLS having a week off before the cup final next week,Ii thought I’d take this opportunity to write about something a bit  fanciful. I was inspired by this wonderful article in The Economist’s sister publication Intelligent Life about the best time to be alive:

http://moreintelligentlife.com/content/ideas/best-time-and-place-be-alive

To all intents and purposes, the realists/statisticians/scientists among us would say it has to be today thanks to advances in healthcare and more liberal attitudes.  They are no doubt right but where’s the romance in that?! Similarly, if you were to apply it to soccer, you might say that today’s TV diet of wall to wall games of unquestionably high standard (Premier League, La Liga, Champions League) would be the best for the armchair fan.  But again where’s the romance?

I thought it would be interesting to look at some of football’s golden ages and then pick the very best. What would be yours?  Let me know in the comments!

1. The advent of Association Football  1867 – Hanging out with Kinnaird and his boarding school chums for the Big Bang moment in soccer!

Football had existed in one format or another for centuries in Britain and abroad (apparently there was a Chinese version for military training in 3rd century B.C.), but the catalyst for the beautiful game of association football was the enthusiasm of Alfred Lord Kinnaird and his aristocratic chums from Britain’s finest boarding schools.  It’s 1867 and the FA is sitting down to its first ever meeting at the Freemason’s Tavern on Great Queen Street in London (it’s still there, and a two minute walk from Covent Garden underground). The beer’s no doubt flowing, the room’s awash with Harrovians, Etonians - they’re arguing about the rules in pitch perfect Queen’s English.  It doesn’t feel like this is “the people’s game” when these gentleman of privilege are laying the foundations, but this is how it all begins.  Less than five years later England will be playing the first ever international against Scotland and soon working men in the big industrial cities will be spending their scant leisur- time alongside the pitch watching the game.

Some attendees at the Freemason’s will drop out of future meetings disgusted at the removal of carrying the ball and hacking.  They’ll go on to set up the Rugby Football Union. Those that stick around have the legacy of creating the world’s finest sport.  They couldn’t have dreamed how big soccer would become, but can you imagine how exhilirating it must have been to be one of those early enthusiasts and to set the wheels in motion, to light the spark?! “Mine’s a pint of Fuller’s Ale please old chap… now we really must talk about this using the hands nonsense…”

2. Madrid, 1945 – 1966

Living in the heart of Franco’s fascist nightmare might not have been especially wonderful, but if you were a Real Madrid fan, soccer would have been a wonderful escape.  Los Merengues’ new president Santiago Bernabeu has the vision to build a brand spanking new stadium and training facility. In 1955 he also has the brain wave of a European inter-club competition for the biggest and best teams.  Not a bad idea really, especially when Real go on to win the European Cup six times in ten years between 1956 and 1966 (five times in a row from 1956!).  And it’s not just the trophies that would have made this one of soccer’s most glorious nooks and crannies to exist in, it’s the players – attacking talent like Argentine Alfredo Di Stefano and Hugarian Ferenc Puskas.  Reliving the grainy highlights from the 1960 European Cup final at Hampden Park in Glasgow, it is clear to see that the “blonde arrow” Di Stefano and his teammates were pretty tasty soccer players and kept their fans well-entertained for a decade.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H_89ue5s20

3. Britain 1966 – 1985

“This happy breed of men, this little world / This precious stone set in the silver sea” – well the denizens of John of Gaunt’s “other Eden” and “sceptered Isle” can’t have been very happy at all as the Spaniards dominated European football.  The average football fan was probably burning with shame.  We’d given the world football and it had taken it with both hands.  It wasn’t just club football where the Brits struggled to match the foreigners – Brazil were dominating the international game and England hadn’t been up to much (in 1950 they lost to the U.S. in the World Cup…ouch).  Puskas’ (see above) Hungary had humiliated England in 1954 beating them 7-1 with the great Real Madrid man himself scoring two.  England didn’t get out of the group stages of the World Cup in 1958 and then had to watch a 17 year old Pele take the world by storm. Fine players on the domestic scene like Stanley Matthews, Billy Wright and Tom Finney weren’t able to make England a world class outfit (sound familiar England fans?)

Then things began to change – the Sixties got swinging!  England won the World Cup on home soil in 1966 to put the home of football back on the international map.  Celtic became the first British team to with the European Cup by beating Inter Milan 2-1 in Lisbon (ten of the eleven players were born and raised in Glasgow!).  They were back in the Final three years later narrowly missing out to Feyenoord.  The year after Celtic’s triumph, Manchester United followed suit with Best, Charlton and co., decked out in their blue change strip, giving Eusebio’s Benfica a real lesson. Not just a triumph for English football but - with Paddy Crerand, Shay Brennan,  Tony Dunne and George Best in the side – a triumph for Scotland and Ireland too.

The British Isles were all of a sudden the epicenter of World Football again! England didn’t win the World Cup in 1970 but they created one of the most memorable games ever when they drew with Brazil in the group stages.  Pele vs Moore, that save by Gordon Banks.  Football hadn’t come home exactly, but it was certainly making a visit.  Then the Dutch invented total football and decided to mercilessly outplay everybody (especially Italian opposition) for a bit (see below).  But for the supporter in the UK, the game had more character than ever.

George Best was the game’s first popstar. Other like Kevin Keegan soon followed.  Brian Clough was emerging as manager at Derby County and his one-liners and bombastic boasting were bringing a color to the game rarely seen before.  Soccer stars were finding themselves on the front pages and on talk shows. And then a massive resurgence came.  Leeds reached the 1975 European Cup Final and were narrowly defeated by Bayern Munich (incidentally they won it the next year as well… not a bad period to have been in Munich swilling beer and eating sausage).That Leeds team had five Scots, four Englishman, one Welshman and one Irishman.

In ’77 Liverpool conquered Europe for the first time. They won again at Wembley the next year against Belgium side Brugge thanks to a Kenny Dalglish goal. They were also reigning supreme on the domestic stage, winning the league five times in eight years in the 70s. Clough’s Nottingham Forrest only won the championship in England once, but they won the European Cup two years on the trot becoming the fourth British side to lift the trophy.  Forrest’s second win was over Kevin Keegan’s Hamburg at the Bernabeu. Liverpool were winners again in 1981 before Aston Villa claimed the cup in ’82.  The Reds were back in ’84, however, beating Roma to create a streak that saw an English winner in the European Cup seven times in eight years. This truly was the golden age of English club football and a miraculous domination.

All empires fall and the English domination of European soccer was to end in the most ignominiuos of fashions. Hooliganism had been a growing problem in the UK in the 70s and 80s and at the 1985 European Cup Final in Brussels, Liverpool fans attacked a group of Juventus supporters who attempted to flee causing a crush and a wall to collapse.  39 Juventus fans died.  Unquestionably this was one of the worst moments to be a soccer fan. A real nadir.

English clubs were banned from European competition for five years but it took them nearly 15 to re-emerge as a major power.  The golden era ended abruptly and a under a cloud of shame.

4. Total Football – Amsterdam, 1970 – 1974

England had awoken from it’s tactical slumber to finally ditch the WM formation of the 20s.  But just as they did, the Dutch went and innovated a step further.  Total Football meant that, whatever formation you played, it should be a loose one and that any player should be able to take on any role within the team.  The team could move around freely, swap positions and still be competent attacking and defending.  Pressing, positional interchange and exceptional ball control and short passing were all cornerstones of the philosophy (interestingly the very things that there is such a dearth of in most England teams over recent years).

In the 1972 European Cup final the philosophy was put to the test as Ajax took on Itnernazionale (a shining example of Total Football’s antithesis, Catenaccio – Italian for “door bolt” and the name given to the defensive mentality that dominated Italian tactics).  Ajax ran out winners

There were sensational players about to make it work. The Ajax and Feyenoord team were awash with talent and combined into a formidable national side. Drunk on the intoxicating brand of football purism, the Orange-clad Dutch supporters expected to win the 74 World Cup and were encouraged as Cruyff and co outplayed all and sundry.  In the Final, West Germany’s first touch of the ball was the restart after they had conceded a goal!! But Total Football took a knock as the Germans beat the Dutch 2-1 in that game.

Cruyff’s legacy at Barcelona led to a similar philosophy in place there today.  It seems to be paying dividends for them.

5. United States of America – Summer of 1994

It started inauspiciously with Diana Ross fluffing her kick during the opening ceremony but the World Cup in 1994 was a revolutionary event for soccer in the United States.  Not only was it a wonderful world cup (Romario and Bebeto forming one of the best ever forward partnerships for Brazil, Roberto Baggio probably player of the tournament and then missing the spot kick in the final, Gheorge Hagi, Jack Charlton’s plucky Ireland team beating Italy in the first round, chemically enhanced Maradona), but it also inspired kids in the USA to consider soccer.  The New York Cosmos had folded back in ’85 and soccer seemed to be terminally ill here. The World Cup led to the formation of Major League Soccer and revolutionized how the game is seen.

For soccer fans at the time it must have felt like their dreams had come true - the world’s best players, packed out American Football stadiums hosting the beautiful game.  It was a sure sign that the game could be revived.  Young kids would want to play, people would want to watch elite players and pay to do so, companies would be happy to invest in the game and sponsor teams.  Amateur and professional soccer was on the cusp of a return.  It was time to dream big again.

A Tale of One City – A Tale of Two Full Backs

There is not a shadow of a doubt that Johnny Evans’ clumsy and lazy defending cost Manchester United dear today after he hauled down Mario Balatelli. In the second half City’s attacking talent was able to pick apart United’s 10 men with ease, particularly as the home team tired towards the end.

Yet City managed to come out of a first half performance where their red rivals had the lion-share of possession with a one goal advantage. How?

Full backs don’t often get the limelight, but Richards and Clichy were phenomenal today and completely stifled the contributions of Nani and Ashley Young. A combination of wonderful positioning, matching pace and patience helped Clichy and Richards stay with their men at all times.  They didn’t dive in unless they were 100% certain of getting the ball and tracked the wide men doggedly, both on and off the ball.  In the end, Young and Nani became ponderous, unimaginative and wasteful with their final crosses.

Mancini would have been delighted to see the support Silva and Milner offered their full backs throughout the period of equity.  Ferguson will be frustrated by how easily the pacey width that has troubled so many other sides was neutralized by the Italian’s tactics and the assiduous application of the men in sky blue.

Richards in particular was superb and also got the assist his performance deserved – I also felt his booking was a little harsh. From an England fans’ point of view it is encouraging to see such a fine performance.  Perhaps we won’t have to see Glenn Johnson’s impersonation of defending in an England shirt again.

Fernando

An incredible, incredible game at Old Trafford today.  It was like a pantomime at times.

I’m sure there will be plenty of Chelsea fanatics in the bars around the Fulham Palace Road who want to throw Fernando Torres to the lions.  Hopefully there’ll be enough sane voices around to realize that today was the first time he looked like his old self!

For the goal he scored his run was sublime and it was a neat composed finish.  Between that goal and his quite unbelievable miss, he came alive again.  He looked dangerous running in behind and also energetic and lively on the ball.  Hopefully that miss doesn’t reset his confidence.  Arm chair fans all over the country will be screaming that their grandma could have slotted that one away with the goal gaping.  The reality is, however, there aren’t many Premier League strikers (let alone octogenarian ladies) capable of the intelligent run that Torres conjured and the ease with which he rounded De Gea running at full pelt.

I’m not sure he choked either… I don’t think he really had enough time to think about it to choke.  Just one of those one in a thousand anomalies. 

Chelsea fans might well be looking to blame Torres for this defeat because of the headline grabbing miss, but you have to look at Lampard’s decision not to run with Smalling for the first (so difficult to rely on offside from wide free kicks like that, especially as the rule has become more complicated over the years).

On the whole for Chelsea though, it was just too difficult to defend against a United side that is streets ahead of them.  More than any other United side in the past, this team is awash with pace as well as quality.  When they won the treble in 1999 I thought they had the best midfield in the world at the time in Beckham, Scholes, Keane and Giggs. Aside from Giggs though, there wasn’t explosive pace there.  Now they have Ashley Young and Nani playing wide (or Valencia). Anderson is not necessarily electric, but I think he’d outpace Scholes and Keane in their prime with a fair amount of ease, and before his injury Cleverley looked rapid in the center of the midfield as well.  Where that 1999 side had Neville and an ageing Irwin at full back  to push on and support, this one has Evra to support on the left and, when fit, Raphael on the right (although Smallling seems to have plenty of pace in the locker as he fills in).   

Fletcher didn’t trouble the Blues too much in terms of pure speed, so God knows what Sir Alex’s first choice team could do to Chelsea! 

Begs the question, front to back, who is the quickest team in the Premier League right now?

Football/Soccer – one game divided by a common language

Borrowing the famous phrase by George Bernard Shaw, America and Britain are “two nations divided by a common language.”  While the Brits like to get aggresively punctilious about misuse of the Queen’s English by their special allies across the pond, it is often over quite sensible adaptations the Yanks have made to the language that has Blighty’s denizens spitting out their Earl Grey.  

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t create difficulty for the Englishman over here. Aside from the unfortunate diverging meanings between phrases like ”fanny pack”, the terms used in soccer (or football) can also be confusing. I’m trying to get by playing and watching soccer over here without having to resort to a pocket phrasebook, so I thought I’d showcase some common misunderstandings.

Centre Half - Even in England, a centre half is an anachronistic throwback to the period in and around the war, where the fashionable formation seemed to resemble a migrating flock of geese and positions such as “inside forward” existed.  But it persists today and, in the UK, it is is used interchangeably with centre back.  A center half (note altered spelling) in the U.S. is apparently a central midfielder! This caused a fair amount of confusion when my coach recently told me to play center half and couldn’t understand why I was unwilling to cross too far over the half way line. 

Stopper/Sweeper - Europeans will know all about the sweeper position made most famous by the likes of Franz “The Kaizer” Beckenbauer.  But how many will be acutely aware of the stopper/sweeper system?   The British Isles is resolutely proud of the flat back four - organized, not flashy, in unison… almost like the sporting embodiment of the stiff upper lip… “Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more…with our flat back four!”

In the Land of the Free, such rigid constraint could never stand, so they play the stopper/sweeper system. This basically means three at the back (two full backs and the “stopper” in the middle) with the sweeper both dropping deeper than the three to cover but also stepping forward to play the ball in midfield. I’m not used to it yet but I’m seeing the advantages of when you have possession of the ball.  At the same time, it makes it impossible to play offsides, so it is taking some getting used to for a full back that is a seasoned/brainwashed adherent to the flat 4!

Cleats - Back home we call them Footy Boots.  There is something rugged and manly about “boots”, even warrior like. You would strap on boots to march into battle against the enemy of all that’s good and true.  Cleats, on the other hand, sounds like something you would wear to do a Dutch country folk dance. I’m going to stick with boots.

Soccer itself – This one is for the U.S of A (God bless America!!!)… yes, that’s right, my oft rained upon brothers in Britain look on you Americans with disdain for using the word soccer, as if it indicates that you made up  the word because you wanted to call your cross between sumo wrestling and rugby, football. 

When an American says soccer, it brings out the most arrogant of sneers from many a U.K. based fan.  Since starting this blog I have received no end of flak from my countrymen for using the much loathed term.  What they fail to grasp is that soccer was actually a word popularized in England in the late 19th century.  Much debate exists about where it came from. One popular tale is that Alfred Lord Kinnaird (yes, he, the pioneer of association football) was asked which kind of football (rugby or association) he was off to play and he responded “soccer”. 

In summary, the British can harldy blame the Americans for using a word popularized by the British themselves! It made logical sense in the 19th century to differentiate from rugby football (long before that game became known as simply Rugby).  It makes sense today to differentiate from American Football as well.

Nasty – In common U.S. soccer parlance this means someone is very good. In England, it would only be said on a soccer field (translation – football pitch) by a six year-old to another boy who just did something mean.  It reminds me of when Michael Jackson’s Bad came out in the 80s and my brother had to explain why being bad was actually good. MJ really upset the moral equilibrium.

Top 5 Vertically Challenged Players Who Are Good in the Air

I’ve been inspired by a recent spate of headed goals from my amateur team’s diminutive midfielder Mike Bouton and it got me to thinking about small players who punch above their weight in the aerial side of the game. As the Australians would say, Mike is knee-high to a grasshopper, but he’s scored three headers in two games, ghosting in between defenders and powering it into the net.  Many pro soccer players in recent memory have a similar knack of defying the cut and dry statistics of the measuring tape. So who are the best sub six-footers when it comes to attacking the ball at altitude and putting it in the onion bag. Here’s my countdown:

5. Javier Hernandez (5″9)

Chicharito’s first goal for United was the most bizaare header I’ve ever seen as he shanked it off his right foot against his noggin and it rebounded into the net.  Since then, however, he’s displayed an incredible knack of finding  space between defenders and guiding the ball at goal with glancing headers.  It helps having the kind of service that Nani, Valencia and Giggs can provide, but the little Mexican is a force to be reckoned with in the air, even for teams who have towering center backs.

4. Lionel Messi (5″7)

It just doesn’t seem fair does it? The true master of all skills pertaining to “playing it on the deck”, Lionel Messi is not content to rest there and insists on being good in the air as well. It’s a bit like Napoleon conquering most of Europe and then deciding he fancied a bit of Russia too. 

I remember watching the 2009 Champions League Final from my flat in North London with some friends.  Already spell-bound by the little Argentinian I dropped a slice of pizza in amazement when he looped a header over Edwin van der Sar.  He had to stretch every sinew in his body to reach Xavi’s cross on the corner of the six yard box and arch it over the Dutchman into the far corner.  I can’t really remember Maradona ever being much use in the air (then again he was even shorter at 5″5) – over time, it could be this attribute that differentiates the two Argentinian number 10s.

3. Robbie Fowler (5″9)

I never thought of Fowler as being short and maybe that’s just because he is slightly taller than Michael Owen (see below).  He just knew how to score in any and every way possible, including with his head.  If FIFA had changed the rules to only allow scoring with the back of your neck, I’m pretty sure Robbie would have been the first to master it.  He scored some scorching drives from outside the box, he scored some crucial tap ins with his feet… but he also scored some fantastic headers in his days at Liverpool (no wonder they called him God).  He might still be doing so in Thailand for all I know but there’s not much call for the Thai Premier League on U.S. television.

2. Michael Owen (5″8)

Michael Owen has been interviewed and talked about how he has always struggled with high balls, and who can forget when Brazilian legend Carlos Alberto waded in and started calling him a midget.  But what Carlos Alberto might not have noticed (especially as it was in Owen’s Real Madrid days where he spent most of his time in a tracksuit), Micky was, and is, actually very good attacking the ball in the area.  A bit like Chicharito he has the knack of judging the flight of the ball from hard crosses and finding that space in between defenders.  The two headers he scored in an England friendly against Argentina back in 2005 spring to mind. Or the perfect hat-trick (right foot, left foot, header) he scored for Newcastle against West Ham in 2007.

Clearly the vast majority of his goals came from being played in behind and getting in one on one situations, but he was always a fox in the box too and seemed to make room for a free header an awful lot.  

1. Tim Cahill (5″10)

So at 5 “10 you couldn’t really call the Australian diminutive, but he is certainly a few inches shorter than the average center back picking him up on corners.  But he’s lethal in the air. Deadly. He attacks the ball with such cavalier aggression and his timing is so perfect that it is virtually impossible for defenders to stop him getting in front of them and connecting. 

There is a nice example of his aerial prowess against Newcastle in this YouTube compilation (about 45 seconds in).  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1lWm7z14dI

The only drawback to his scoring great headers is that you have to watch him do that ridiculous celebration where he pretends to box with the defenceless corner flag.  

Suggestions in the compiling of this list were provided by my old Keble College teammate Richard Craig, himself sub-six foot but a very good headerer of the ball. Thanks for reading and stay strong (in the air)!

p.s. The best ever headed goal (regardless of height)… could it be this one?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWBbYhrizsM&feature=related

Diving – it could happen to you too

When we see diving in the professional game the reaction is now one of grudging acceptance.  We’ve been worn down by its prevalence and become somewhat immune to the nauseating reality of the act. Our indignation has been vanquished by it eventually being the team we support that benefits from one of its players taking a tumble. 

But it’s a bit like getting burgled.  It’s a fact of life until it actually happens to you! Last night in an MSSL game played out in East Boston (fortunately a comfortable victory for our team) I made a sliding tackle in the box, winning the ball cleanly.  After a short delay, the subject of that rather well-timed challenge then squeeled like a stuck pig and launched himself forward in a Superman impersonation.

I was in the process of laughing at the farce of such ham acting when, in disbelief, I discovered that the referee had fallen for the ruse and pointed to the spot.  We won comfortably but it really left a sour taste in my mouth to think of the audacity and mean spiritedness of such flagrant cheating. It’s monumentally galling. The practise really does attack all that’s good and of value about sporting contest.  People say it’s part of the game, but really it’s the antithesis of what soccer should be about.

So, in summary.  It reaffirms my disgust at the habit of diving or cheating in general and I’m back being evangelical about the need for it to be stamped out of the game.   The booking for diving system is good but quite often people get booked when they were actually fouled or when they simply slipped or fell over.  It’s hard for referees to tell in that split second.  Maybe at the upper echelons of the game there should be more video review of dives and harsher punitive action when it is clear… less of this “if the referees seen the incident he can deal with it” because this means too much diving is slipping through the cracks. 

Swap Shop – the biggest winners and losers on transfer deadline day

The old stories of managers frantically running through the streets of London to get the paperwork for a new signing to the FA in time to meet the deadline are long gone.  Thanks Internet! But the era of the munificent Arab/Russian zillionaire and the American corporate sporting franchise now lend detective novel style suspense to August 31st! And apologies for the slur against the Internet, watching it all unfold in real-time is pant wettingly exciting.  But who were the big winners and losers over the last couple of days?

Winners -

Spurs. Daniel Levy is without doubt somehow an agent of the occult. I still don’t know how he pulled off that “under the radar” Van Der Vaart deal at a fraction of his real value. This time Levy/Redknapp’s objective must have been to replace quantity with quality.  They have brought in almost $25 million for Crouch and Keane which is not at all shabby and instead captured Adebayor on loan.  They might be sorry to see Palacios ($10m) go, but pretty average performers like O’Hara ($9m), Jenas and Bentley have been replaced by eleventh hour signing Scott Parker, who should be England’s first name on the team sheet at the moment. They’ve lacked a quality goalkeeper for eons, but now have Brad Friedel in net. Oh and they’ve held onto Modric.  He might sulk for a while, but he’s not going to jeopardize a future move by playing half-heartedly for the rest of the season!

QPR. Shaun Wright-Phillips is not world class, but he’s certainly a skillful, quick winger and a great signing for QPR.  Joey Barton was fantastic for Newcastle and if (big if!!!!!!!!!) Warnock can get along with him for a whole season, he’ll add some real quality to the midfield. As well as having boundless energy and aggression Barton’s technique is pretty exceptional as well for an English midfielder.  He actually has a very good touch as well as being combative.

Wenger. Not Arsenal so much. Wenger still needed to get a couple more defenders through the door for my money, but in Arteta and Benayoun he’s finally brought in experienced players.  Mertesacker is the kind of player he should have signed four or five years ago, but better late than never heh! I still don’t see them capturing a Champions League place, but Wenger pulled off a couple of eye-catching deals in overtime to ensure some more patience from the Gooner faithfull! 

Losers.

Everton. While Vaughan and Beckford simply weren’t up to the grade, Moyes would surely have wanted to see more enter stage right than he has seen exeunt (theater reference in honor of Bill Kenwright).  It seems like the Argentine Stracqualursi is not goal shy but I suspect he will take time to bed in. Drenthe has not been blessed with playing time at Madrid.  Time will tell, but the two signings on deadline day were the only ones of the summer, and that feels a little underdone given their patchy form (see previous post).

Swansea. Made some signings but none that brings enough quality to make a substantial difference.  Swansea will be hoping to survive on team spirit… Wayne Routledge has never been a hugely positive influence on that!

Wigan.  Just on Shaun Maloney alone.  They paid about $1.5 million for him, which might seem a drop in the ocean, but his form for Celtic recently has been dire.  Perhaps he needs a new challenge to refresh himself but I don’t think he’s going to make the difference for Wigan. 

Scottish Football.  The ealth divide was made painfully clear north of the border, where there were so few signs of life it could have been the Sahara!